Archive for October, 2008



03
Oct
08

Cleansed by Fire, Part 18

For the previous installment of this story, click here

Or, visit the Cleansed By Fire portal page for comprehensive links to previous chapter installments and additional backstory and information about the novel.

Cleansed by Fire

Chapter 4, Requiem’s Eve (continued)

Paulo frowned as the display on his lightdesk, a message that Lyseena had received an hour earlier from the mysterious Enn through the SystemGrid. Tracking it back to its source through the Grid was a task that was already underway by people more skilled than he was at gridhacking; his job was to try to glean meaning from the message itself.

Commander Lyseena xec-Juris ::: It is a waste of your time and resources to identify me. I have done what I needed to do. Any other work that I must do is outside of Templar’s Tower. Indeed, I have precious few tasks left on Earth after this week. Please realize that I am not what you think I am. I am not the problem. I am the solution. Indeed, I am the bulwark against entropy itself. | Cordially, Enn

That Enn was screwing with them was obvious. Less clear was figuring out which parts were truth, or some semblance thereof, and which were meant to misdirect them and force the templars to expend resources on false hunts.

Paulo rubbed his forehead and decided it was time for his long overdue midday break. But before he even considered trying to find some kind of food that would sit as anything less than an iron weight in his belly, he had to call home. Not his apartment in the city but his real home, the one he wouldn’t be able to step foot in for at least a few days.

His aunt answered the linkpad call on the fourth chime. “Paulo?”

“Don’t leave out a plate for me tonight, Auntie Sophie. In fact, I won’t be able to visit until the end of the millennial events, at the earliest. You’ll need to give Gracie extra kisses on my behalf for the next couple nights.”

There was an ever-so-slight pregnant pause and all Paulo could think of was, I love my aunt, but I wish Gina had answered instead, even if this conversation would have angered her. He had briefly flirted with the idea of calling Gina directly instead of keying up the house’s main line, but he had to be careful.

“Paulo,” Sofia said, with just a trace of scolding in her voice. “Grace will not be happy. The little girl has no father now; it’s for you to stand in his place.”

She said Grace, but Paulo knew she really meant Gina will not be happy. And the mention of the father who had never really existed, much less been married to the woman everyone thought was his cousin, still wounded him. And he knew that Sofia knew that better than anyone, perhaps even better than Gina. In her way, she was telling Paulo: You have a wife and daughter, no matter that there was neither wedding nor rings. To hell with your damned job; be with them.

“Sofia, I can’t tell you what’s going on in the tower right now, but things are too hot for me to leave the city core. I’ve been ordered to stay here until the requiem and millennial mess is over with. There are no options. In fact, Lyseena will probably give me a formal demerit if she walks in on me making a call to family during operating hours. Until the New Year hits, I am stuck here. I don’t want to break little Grace’s heart. But I have vows.”

Sofia sighed. “If your damned father had given you one small business to run instead of shipping you off to the Vatican, those vows wouldn’t be such a problem.”

“Auntie…”

“Oh, I’ll confess my sin of questioning the Vatican when I visit Father Dunio tomorrow. I’ll tell Gina and Grace that it’s strictly estrogen in the house for the next few days.”

“Thank you. Tell them one thing more for me please?”

“Aside from the fact you love them?”

“Yes, Sofia, aside from that,” Paulo said with as much gentle humor as he could muster. “Tell Gina to check her Grid account later tonight. I’d like her and Grace to attend the millennial celebration in the city. There’ll be a crush of people, but I can get them a special spot near one of the bigger viewpanels so they can see the performers and the cognos upload of the Black Pope.”

Sofia’s “hrrrmmmpph” indicated just how much entertainment she expected the upload to be, at least. Whether she felt the same way about the singers, dancers, poets and orators was unclear.

“Auntie, I have to make rounds of several checkpoints and stations throughout the morning on New Year’s while the events are unfolding. I can’t take much time for them or for me, but if I know where Grace and Gina are at, my little…” he choked back the word “daughter”—damn you Maree, for putting that fact so firmly in the fore of my mind, “…niece can get a glimpse of her demi-uncle. I can at least stop by long enough to give Gracie a kiss once or twice as I do the circuit. And it’s a once in a lifetime event. I can pull some strings to get them a good view and a comfortable spot, so why not?”

“And I’m not invited. Your most devoted aunt?”

The mock indignation wasn’t lost on him, nor the subtle message she was sending.

“I know full well you’ll be on a plane headed to Africa for a little sightseeing,” Paulo said. Off to see your daughter, the real Gina who stepped aside so that my lover and my child could live under your roof, living a lie so that neither would incur the wrath of Vatican adultery and fornication laws. ”Have I ever told you that I appreciate all that you do for me?”

“Yes, Paulo,” she said, and the love was clear, even if the sadness was there, too, at the lies they were living and the separation from her own daughter. “You have. We do what we do for family, mi sobrino. I have much love for you, not just for Gina and Grace. Not all of us have holy vows to keep our hearts warm at night, Paulo. Come visit soon.”

As the connection clicked off, Paulo sighed, and fingered his templar’s collar. Gina and Grace are the only warmth I crave. The vows are cold and hard, and heavier around my neck with every passing day.

He turned back to his display. If he couldn’t lash out at the Vatican, then Enn would have to do. I’m going to find out who you are, Paulo promised to no one in particular, and where.

***

If the mental ghosts of her dead family members disapproved of the body at Maree’s feet, they had the good sense not to make any sign of it. They remained still and serene inside her head, watching with black eyes as Maree sliced into the wrist of the corpse with her leafblade.

There was a slice in Maree’s own wrist, where she had removed her IDentipod, and where the dead woman’s would be placed in a moment. The last thing Maree needed on a long journey of revenge was to pass by a security pylon that was being actively monitored and have the entire templar organization alerted to her position.

She had little fear of being flagged for illegal use of another’s IDentipod, as the woman she had killed would almost certainly never be reported missing. The only person who might have cared, and he likely wouldn’t have called the authorities anyway, was the dead man laying some 4 meters away—an informant from Maree’s past field work, whom she had kept out of harm’s way even after she became an admin officer.

Never know when you’ll need information from the street level, Maree thought idly, or the identity of your lover to keep me free and alive.

A small part of her felt some guilt over the murders, but only a very small part. Like all the best informants, David Longer was filthier than a refuse chute, and his lady friend was every bit his partner in crime. They had trafficked in rolling out minors for rough sex; dealing drugs like silverstim, shredd and raptureX; and making ramp-loans to desperate people. He had worked with Maree because it allowed him to get rid of some of the competition; nothing more, nothing less.

Maree knew all about IDentipods, so her work took less than 10 minutes, and then she was, as far as security pylons and checkpoints were concerned, now Debrah-Ayn Baylor. Disposing of the bodies in a manner that ensured they would never be found, however, would likely take up the rest of daylight.

***

Emil Standish was bound in a spread-eagle position on a foambed, unable to cause trouble but not in any discomfort, though the look in his eyes was pure murder. Mehrnaz was double-checking his restraints as Sarai entered, one eyebrow cocked at her sister’s efforts.

“Has he been rambunctious?” Sarai asked her twin.

“He was lightly doped when I got him out of the pod. Draaugha tells me he was modestly violent earlier. It seemed prudent to secure him before he regained his full wits. Ishtar’s Folly lacks the arms and legs to protect herself from him,” Mehrnaz added, nodding to the walls of their vessel, “unlike us. So for now, this seems best.”

“But the button gag in his mouth?” Sarai asked, a lilt in her voice.

Mehrnaz’s white cheeks briefly flushed a light lavender shade. “Oh, sister, I have not engaged in any sport-bonding while you were checking flight status. But based on his behavior at our last meeting,” and at this, she shot Emil a withering scowl, “I knew that he would be interrupting our ability to converse the moment you entered the room.”

Satisfied that Sarai was now up to date, she removed the gag from Emil’s mouth, releasing a string of invective phrases, some of which were actually new to the sisters. Once the swearing was over, Emil said simply, “So, are you going to kill and torture the big bad bigot now? Strike a blow for all the poor neo sapiens I hate?”

Mehrnaz let out a low, rumbling chuckle, but addressed Sarai instead of Emil: “The Standish-gift still seems confused about our motivations. Perhaps we should keep him a far-stretch so that he can become more educated about the ways of Spacers, particularly us deviant neo sapiens.”

“Gift? Keep me? I’m a damn human,” he snapped. “What? You’re slavers on top of whatever other foulness comes out of those twisted genes of yours?”

Sarai’s head tilted and her left hand twitched just barely. “Stay your hand, sister,” Mehrnaz said. “We didn’t finish killing him for insulting our contract-honor before; harming him for a little slight like this, born of pure ignorance about our culture, is unworthy of our death-skills.”

Sarai nodded slowly and turned to Emil with a thin smile, “My sister is wise, and I did not sleep well in our recent rest cycle. Forgive my near-violence. But I fail to see how your presence with us constitutes slavery.”

“I’m tied up like an animal and I’ve been whisked away from my planet and dumped on your ship, with all my freedom yanked away!”

“You were given to us as a gift from the leader Stavin,” said Sarai with a light purr.

“And it is bad form to refuse a gift,” finished Mehrnaz. “It would be an insult to the leader Stavin.”

“So now, you are ours,” Sarai said.

“I’m a human! I have rights…” Emil began.

“You are human. And you are a gift,” Mehrnaz responded.

“Your rights have not been impinged,” Sarai said, a slight scolding note in her voice, as if teaching a small child about the dangers of touching a hot stove. “You are a member of a terrorist organization living in the Catholic Union.”

“You fight against the society in which you live,” Mehrnaz continued, “so you tacitly reject their authority.”

“Therefore, you are not truly a citizen of the Catholic Union, and you do not enjoy their legal protection,” the other sister added.

“You bonded yourself with Secular Genesis, as we bond within and between our Ishmaeli clans, and so the leader Stavin controls your fate,” Mehrnaz said. “He has indicated that he has no more use for you and that you are a gift to us.”

“You have slightly more rights than a dowry-boy in our culture,” noted Sarai, “but unlike a dowry-boy, there is no time-limit to your status as a gift, as there was no promise of marriage between anyone attached to your status.”

“I have rights under international Earth law and, as a citizen of the Catholic Union,” Emil countered. “If you plan to spit on those laws, expect to be outlaws.”

Mehrnaz cocked her head, with equal parts confusion and condescension on her face. “You are, legally, a citizen of the Catholic Union, despite your implicit rejection of their authority. You are indeed entitled to return to that citizen-role.”

“We will prepare the slippod to deliver you to an appropriate Vatican office in a city of your choosing in the Catholic Union,” Sarai offered. “We will, of course, be required as a matter of honor-honesty to inform them of your prior clan-role in Secular Genesis.”

To that, Emil had only silence as a response.

Sarai turned to her sister. “I sense that resuming his citizen-role does not appeal.”

“So, you’re not going to kill me or torture me and you’re not going to sell me on the slave market. What are you planning?”

“To be honest, Standish-gift, we don’t know that we even want you,” Mehrnaz replied. “And we don’t know how long we shall keep you. Nor do we know what we will do with you once we cease to consider you a gift.”

“But it is rude not only to refuse a gift,” Sarai began.

“But also equally rude not to make use of one,” Mehrnaz finished.

“What are you…”

Both sisters ignored him, and Sarai said, “The bonds, and the gag, do inspire certain notions.”

“Buzz-buttons and wanderlusts are sufficient mostly, but one does sometimes crave the use of more organic tools,” Mehrnaz responded.

“Don’t you even fucking consider that, you freaks!” Emil shouted.

“And no risk of impregnation, either,” Sarai said. “He has no ship skills we need, nor would we trust him to freely roam, and he seems to lack any entertaining talents other than the creation of colorful epithets.”

“You should be able to synthesize a small dose of eretine in the medlab,” Merhnaz noted.

“Keep your filthy goddamned hands off me, you abomi…” Emil began, until Mehrnaz reattached the button gag.

“This is for your protection,” she whispered. “I wouldn’t want you to say anything that might cause Sarai to lose her fragile composure.”

“There is no requirement that you actively participate or enjoy this, Standish-gift,” Mehrnaz continued. “But it might save you some inadvertent strains and humiliation if you do at least pretend.”

(To read part 19 of this story, click here.)

01
Oct
08

Decisions, Decisions – Part 1

As we Americans prepare to chart either a bold new course in the future of the United States or try to repave an eight-year-old path that has already led us to the beginning of the destruction of our economy, I am reminded that this nation is sharply split, almost right down the middle, in terms of the presidential candidates and many of the issues we grapple with right now.

In that vein, it strikes me that America is split between “Red States” and “Blue States,” between rich and everyone else, between liberal and conservative, between Democrat and Republican, between working class and “elites,” between the thinkers and the blissfully ignorant…ah, hell, you get the idea.

Rather than belabor the point that I’ve been making for some time now that Obama is good and McCain is the effluent coming out of Satan’s septic system, let me provide you with what (it seems to me) are the most endearing pairs of archetypes that we seem to want to handle our nation’s problems.

Crime

Superman

PROS: Virtually indestructible and possessed of stupendous powers. Sees things very starkly in black-and-white/good-and-evil. Supports policies of whatever president is in office, no matter how contradictory from one term to the next.

CONS: He’s an alien. Not just an illegal alien but a space alien. Where’s his damn Green Card? Also, boring as hell.

Batman

PROS: Will take down criminals expediently and, when necessary, violently, but actually does good detective work as well, and has a strong no-kill, no-torture policy. Access to substantial financial resources, and his weapons are always at least as good, if not better than, his enemies’. Has really cool outfits and some nice rides.

CONS: Often grim and humorless, and only works at night.

Healthcare

Jesus

PROS: A hard-working, dedicated, selfless humanitarian who loves everyone and puts holistic health and complete healing among the top items in his priority list. Works 24/7 for you and never slacks off. Has very high-level connections and is able to prepare a complete wine-and-cheese get-together with just a couple barrels of water and a couple small hunks of cheese and bread.

CONS: Prone to sarcasm and irritation at times when confronted with boneheaded lack of faith or inability to understand simple parables; known to be destructive toward moneylenders’ tables and fig trees that fail to produce fruit.

The Grim Reaper

PROS: Very effective at ensuring that people don’t use up their medical insurance benefits and fantastic at population control. Helps drive business in several sectors, including pharmaceuticals, medical care and mortuary sciences. Doesn’t have a discriminatory bone in his body…er, well, he is all bones, isn’t he?

CONS: Wants you dead as soon as possible. Yes, you.

Christian Values

Joel Osteen

PROS: Great smile, winning personality, and a huge congregation. Tells a great story and presents himself well. His dad was a well-regarded pastor.

CONS: Seems to lack the ability to actually preach the “Christ” in “Christianity,” in favor of self-help platitudes and “you can be wealthy too” sentiments instead. Seems to like the spotlight a bit much.

Charles Stanley

PROS: Solid grounding in the Word of God and ability to preach the cold, hard truths of God’s plan while also highlighting the loving and warm parts. Doesn’t seem to be profiting unduly from his ministry. Seems humble.

CONS: Looks and sounds a bit too much like the grandfather whom you love but didn’t much enjoy visiting for an entire day.

Public Policy

Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins

PROS: Well loved Hollywood figures who know the issues and are in agreement on a strong left-leaning approach. They are willing to stand on their beliefs and dedicated to educating others about what the right path is.

CONS: They’re freakin’ actors, for God’s sake! And preachy ones at that. They can’t shut up sometimes. Go do a movie already, OK?

James Carville and Mary Matalin

PROS: Provide a well-balanced team as one spouse is ragingly Democrat and the other one is devoutly Republican. They know lots of people in the political world. They’ve been around the world and they’ve seen all kinds of things that would make your hair curl, I’m sure.

CONS: The only things they seem to agree on are what to eat for dinner and the fact they like screwing each other still.

Terrorism

Jack Bauer of “24″

PROS: Dedicated to truth and justice and the welfare of Americans. Works hard and often resolves problems in one day. Will cause himself and reputation harm if necessary to get his job done. Has integrity to spare and knows just where to look to find the bad guys.

CONS: Kinda moody.

Rambo (or any of a number of other Stallone characters, such as Judge Dredd)

PROS: Shoots everything in sight. Doesn’t talk much.

CONS: Poor communicator. Shoots everything in sight.

  

.

01
Oct
08

Acts of the Hummus Idol, October Edition

October is my favorite month. Aside from the fact that children and adults are embracing the dark side and opening themselves to possession by Satan’s minions by dressing in costumes on All Hallow’s Eve as part of the mainstream and commercialized “Halloween” and thus increasing the stranglehold of evil over your mortal realm…*snicker*…damn, I couldn’t keep a straight face there. *sigh* Although it is funny how many fundamentalist Christians I’ve tricked into believing that is true, causing them to make their kids hate them for years by denying them trick-or-treating or forcing them to dress as angels every year. I love eff-ing around with those folks. Anyway, the real reason I love this month is that National Hummus Day takes place on October 16 and the HummusPalooza Festival runs from October 9-12 in Woodstock, N.Y. My power peaks this month as a result, and I fully expect to control the very fabric of creation by the 21st. But until then, when I subjugate all of you, I will continue to answer your queries…

I, the great and powerful Hummus Idol, will now entertain your questions and grant unto you the wisdom that only a pile of very angry crushed chickpeas, tahini, olive oil and other seasonings can offer. Don’t let the smiling face fool you. I am a fridge-cold killah. Bow down before me, speak your question, and incline your ears or any other convenient part of your anatomy as I spew my advice upon thee.

Q: Paper or plastic? - Hawa K. Bond, author of Fackin Truth Blog

A: It is rare for me to apologize; in fact, this will be the first time in 327 years, and I hope to go another 400 or so before I do it again. But Hawa asked this question in the comments section for my July edition, and I never did answer her. I’m sorry. I will rectify that now.

The answer is, quite clearly: Leather. I have existed since the dawn of recorded history, when one of the first preparers of hummus accidentally cut the finger of his virgin daughter and inadvertently spilled her blood upon the crushed chickpeas and tahini, as an errant lightning bolt fell from the sky to strike the delightful mixture while one of the dark old gods was passing by a few miles away, thus causing the hummus to obtain the powerful sentience and untold mystical might that is me, the Hummus Idol! …um…pardon me. I got caught up in the moment there. What I meant was that I have been around a long time, and I know that nothing beats a good leather sack. Preferably sueded.

I consider paper good only for writing down the names of individuals upon whom I plan to lay horrifying curses, and plastic is not only environmentally harmful because of the lack of biodegradability but it also makes me chafe.

Q: I am a Wiccan, and I am very offended by the girls who dress up as witches every Halloween, wearing black robes and pointy hats, with warty noses and green skin, and carrying brooms that they pretend to fly around on. What’s up with that? Can’t people have any respect? And could you zap a few of them for me, please? - Cynthia Felize, Berkeley, Calif.

A: Well, if you’re like most Wiccans, you embraced this religion as part of the New Age movement or because it sounded cool and wasn’t as grim as becoming a goth chick. I’m sorry, but this religion was created in the mid-20th Century by a guy with a questionable backstory. You are entitled to your beliefs, but modern Wicca is, in my garlic-infused opinion, a creation for people who want religion but don’t like any kind of god that actually expects anything of you. So, considering that the witch archetype so commonly sported this month predates your practices by centuries, you should stop complaining. Shit, you already call yourselves wiccans instead of witches, so what are you bitching about? Also, you don’t hear nurse practitioners raising a ruckus about women who wear fetishy nurse get-up with fishnets and high heels, do you? And are people of gypsy decent making a big to-do when people dress up like them, looking like some kind of cross between a pirate and a hobo? Away from me, you fascist pusher of unnecessary and oppressive politically correct doctrine.

Q: Am I going to win this election? - Barry O., Chicago, Illinois

A: If you had asked me 8 years ago, I would have said “yes” in a heartbeat, as you clearly outclass your competitor in style, panache, intelligence, temperament and logic. And even though your running-mate is a little crazy, he isn’t nearly as bad as your competitor’s sidekick. But sadly, it’s still a toss-up, Senator. I mean, this nation elected George W. Bush and then re-elected him to a second term. A former coke-head and alcoholic with a history of running businesses badly, who was mediocre student in college, and who was governor in a state where the governorship is mostly a figurehead position. Besides, I’m not going to expend the effort to pierce the veil of the future and tell you for sure unless you plan to hand over your immortal soul. I can put it right on the shelf next to Sarah Palin’s…

Q: Do you have any idea where my wedding ring is? My wife is going to kill me if she notices it’s gone. -Harold Feebler, Crisco, Wyoming

A: Yeah. It fell into the shallow grave that you buried your sixth serial murder victim in last night.

Look, your wife never notices the smell of fresh earth on you every month on the night of the full moon, and she’s never commented about the strange bloodstains or your habit of smearing your own feces on your face as penance for your sexual addiction to prostitutes. I’m pretty sure if you just buy a cheap ring from the jewelry store in the mall tomorrow you won’t have a problem.

But you are going to burn in hell all the same.

(Image by Stewart Butterfield, who is not affiliated with this blog and who doesn’t even know I or my opinions exist, and used under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 License)

(Hummus Idol does not speak as a representative or agent of Deacon Blue or anyone else associated with this blog. In fact, Hummus Idol doesn’t exist. He is wholly and completely a manufactured character that acts as an angry facade behind which Deacon Blue can hide for petty entertainment purposes and for times when he needs to be extra crusty and get shit off his chest. That said, you can feel free to shower the Hummus Idol with offerings of jewelry, money or fine art…he will make sure it goes someplace where it is needed.) View complete list of Humus Idol entries here.




Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley

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Jeff Bouley

To find out more about me professionally, click here. To find out more about me generally, click here.

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You can reach Deacon Blue/Jeff Bouley at deaconbluemail@gmail.com.

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