Archive for March 12th, 2008


Stepping out

kiss01.jpgI swear I’m not on a sex kick to drive traffic to this blog. Really. Well, mostly really. But it is true that my motives for today’s post are innocent…as innocent as is possible when talking about sex to begin with, at least. Truth is, I’m in the middle of a lot of project work right now and don’t have much time, so I need a topic I can clear up quickly and easily.

So, here it is: Is it ever OK to step out on your spouse for a little intimate sport?

I don’t think it will be much of a surprise to anyone whose reads this blog that I’m not cool with adultery. Hell, I don’t advocate premartial sex, despite the fact almost everyone does it and I pretty much expect everyone, even the born-again Christians, will continue to do it in large numbers.

“But,” you ask, “what if my spouse says it’s OK?”

Sorry, Charlie, still won’t work. I know there are many spouses of both genders who are open-minded enough to actually be down with the idea of letting their significant other have a night (or morning, or lunchbreak) off with someone who can provide them with that new sex smell. And with permission in place, and the “marriage bed” being undefiled as long as both spouses are in agreement, you’d think this might be safe territory. You can’t cheat if you have permission, right?

But you forget about the other part of the equation: fornication (insert dramatic, semi-spooky music here). You would be having sex with someone whom you aren’t married to, thus doing nothing more than gratifying your lust instead of using sex in a loving and bonding manner. You would be fornicating and you would be encouraging that person to fornicate, and that still puts you in sin territory. Deliberate sin. Not the best idea. We’re supposed to shun sin, not look for new, more interesting ways to commit it and somehow slip in (or slip into someone) on a technicality.

I’m sorry to tell y’all that, especially the guys who were really looking for a loophole. Lord knows, I’m weak-willed enough that I certainly hope to find loopholes in the Bible, too, a lot of the time. But this falls into the same category of why I mention in my Between the Sheets post that threesomes and bigger groupings are still wrong, no matter how you try to slice it. Sex just isn’t meant to be a sporting activity; it’s meant to be something much deeper and much more intimate than that.


Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley


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March 2008

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