Archive for May 17th, 2008


Ties that bind

So, got some bad news today that one of my uncles had died. Not the first time, and I don’t lack for other aunts and uncles (my dad was one of the youngest of 13 and my mom one of the eldest of 7), but this has hit me in an odd way. For well-nigh the past decade, I haven’t seen much of my family on either side. Mainly because of financial stuff and the fact that I moved to a state that’s hell and away from everyone related to me.

But this has really got me bummed. I hadn’t seen Tom in a long time, but I remember him fondly. And despite the distance of years, and the fact that I hadn’t spent more than a heartbeat of time with him in a good 18 years, I miss him. And I’ll be damned if I can say why it makes me want to cry.

But what it has made me think about is God’s love, in a weird, off-hand way. We separate ourselves from God in so many ways and don’t spend time with him, but He’s always there for us, even when we don’t believe it or cannot accept that He would be.

And no matter how long you’ve been out of touch with God, I think it grieves him something fierce when we die without having embraced what He offers to us.

I’m 40 and want to cry over someone I haven’t spent significant, ongoing time with since I was in my teens and saw only for a smattering of dinners from high school through my career-building years.

How much more does God cry for people whom He watches every day and knows every aspect of them, when they die without having known Him. Or without even having cared to try?


Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley


Jeff Bouley

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May 2008

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