Archive for May 23rd, 2008


That’s truly beastly

OK, my sex-related post a couple days ago went over some kind of line (or maybe multiple lines), so I pulled it on the advice of Quality Control Director Mrs. Blue (for those who wondered from my A Woman’s Place post whether my wife holds a strong position in the family, that should clear up your confusion right there; she also controls the checkbook, by the way). But it’s still about time for another sex post, so here goes. This one has major icky overtones, but I like to think Mrs. Blue will let it pass because in this case, I’m telling you about something that is a huge “don’t go there” kind of activity. I mean, seriously, don’t touch this crap with a ten-foot pole kind of sex.


Do not, I repeat, do not have any sexual contact with animals. I’ll back up my shit in a moment, but let me repeat.

Don’t do it.

In fact, don’t even look at porn related to it. Because if you’re looking at that kind of thing out of anything more than a passing morbid curiosity about what the hell it looks like, you probably want to do it (see brown and tan alert levels in this post, please). If you’re feeding any kind of desire or sexual release with the use of images of people-and-animals sex, you have already crossed a line. Don’t add any more fuel to the fire. Do not try to imagine if you can recreate that urban legend about Richard Gere and the gerbils. Don’t. Step away from the shit now. Get professional help and pray for release from this sin as soon as you can. Run, don’t walk, to the nearest help for your affliction.

OK, I know I was subtle there, but I hope you got the point.

First off, let’s not even put bestiality in any kind of similar class to things like fornication or homosexual sex, and for one very key reason: Those other sexual acts involve consenting adults. You may be sinning, but at least you’re in agreement with the other person that you want to sin. It’s a choice. God gave us free will, and we sometimes don’t use it the way we should.

Animals, however, have a notoriously poor record of being able to give informed consent. I don’t care how much you think an animal might be into you; the fact is, you’re the more evolved creature, you know better, and the animal isn’t capable of making a proper decision about whether to engage in sexual relations with a human. Animals act on instinct. You have intellect and emotion. Much like a manager having sex with a subordinate under his or her supervision, it is just wrong. The balance of power is too skewed and you are exerting yourself on an innocent creature in a nasty form of abuse. The only sexual sins worse than bestiality, as far as I’m concerned, are sexual contact with kids and rape, which are not only sins, but are just plain evil. It is abuse of one of basest sorts. It demeans your victim and your own soul and violates so many other things in addition to God’s law. Bestiality may not be as pointedly and clearly evil as child sexual abuse, but it sure is sick, and it sits pretty closely to the border of true evil.

Second point against bestiality: God didn’t address sex with animals as much as other sexual sins in the Bible, but it got addressed in a particularly pointed way in one place (Leviticus chapter 18, verses 22-23):

You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination. Also you shall not have intercourse with any animal to be defiled with it, nor shall any woman stand before an animal to mate with it; it is a perversion.

Generally, when we’re told what we are supposed to do (or not do) in the Word of God, the masculine pronoun is used, with the understanding that in almost all cases, it applies equally to women. But here, just to drive the point home, God wants us to know that men shouldn’t have intimate relations with animals and women shouldn’t have such relations either. He only bothers to mention men with same-sex relations, but He repeats the warning about animals for both genders. Just in case there is any confusion, God made sure to let you know that no one is to lie down with animals in that way.

This kind of sex is so wrong on so many levels that I am not about to give it any wiggle room whatsoever. You’re violating human laws, you’re violating God’s laws, you’re going against basic human nature. You’re even forcing an animal to go against its nature.

Just say no. And if you can’t say no, find someone who cares about you to drag you to someone who can help you, be it a priest, pastor, therapist, hypnotist, a government-trained ex-CIA brainwasher or all of the above.

(For those who care, I found the T-Shirt image at a site called


Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley


Jeff Bouley

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May 2008

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