How would Jesus roll?

There is a hilarious exchange beginning about three-quarters of the way down in the comments of this post at Deus Ex Malcontent in which a guy named “Bill White” (yeah, right) poses as a right-wing nutjob. At first, it seems like he might be serious and really believe what he writes, but as things progress, it eventually becomes clear it’s just sophisticated parody. I point this out only because there is a comment by Bill White that he drives an F-150 and someone later jokes that if he were a true Jesus freak, he would drive an F-350.

It’s funny to me, at least, because I think there are so many Christians of the more right-leaning persuasion (and other persuasions, probably, to be honest) who really do drive big, honkin, gas-guzzling vehicles. These are the same people who probably stuck “What Would Jesus Do?” stickers on the bumpers or the back window back when the WWJD thing was all the rage.

Sadly, what such folks seem to have forgotten was that Jesus mostly walked around, and when he rode into Jerusalem in his final days on Earth, he rode on a friggin donkey. So, let’s consider how Jesus would roll if he had a car. Hell, if Jesus were in the flesh here on planet Earth today, and if he were driving anything, it wouldn’t be anything flashier than a Prius. And frankly, that would be too much for him to be comfortable with, I suspect.

To be honest, I think he’d be driving a used Geo Metro.

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