Two-fer Tuesday: Kids by Deacon Blue

colors-of-the-worldSince Miz Pink went and got all sappy with her kid story on Saturday (actually, it was a cute story), let’s make our Two-fer Tuesday topic “Kids.” I’ll start.

No, not going to talk about sparing the rod and spoiling the child.

Not going to go over that stuff about honoring our mothers and fathers.

Already talked about Jesus telling us to “suffer the little children.”

OK, Bible down. I have no doubt I could expound upon spiritual stuff related to kids. Instead, let me give you some real advice, and this is mostly aimed at people who don’t yet have kids, or are about to have kids for the first time soon. But I’m sure even existing parents can get a tickle out of this, too.


  • Before you have a child, think really, really hard about how hard you think raising a child will be.
  • Double that.
  • Then add on the stress of working for the world’s most demanding and least flexible boss (for at least four years).
  • To that, add the idea of serving in an extended sleep-deprivation experiment (for at least a year, possibly two).
  • Now imagine being denied regular access to the forms of entertainment you have come to rely on (movies, sex, clubbing, etc.) for roughly five years, give or take.
  • If you are having your first child and you are in your late 30s to mid-40s, increase that total amount by 50%, because you are already getting set in your ways even if you don’t think so.
  • Finally, if you are having your first ever child at the age of 55 or older, and you are doing this on purpose, please check into a mental health facility now.

All that being said, children are a joy, and the first time you get an honest “I love you” or a wet sloppy kiss on the cheek, your world will change forever, and for the better. There are few, if any, jobs more rewarding than being a good parent—at least trying to be a good one.

But oh, do those kids work the nerves sometimes. 😉


7 Responses to “Two-fer Tuesday: Kids by Deacon Blue”

  1. December 2, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    But my cat is so cute–I just know my children will be, too! Seriously, you make good points about getting into parenting. Had along session at the therapists today. She said I’d be good with kids and I light up when I talk about them. Maybe teaching or adopting them. I see too many effed up people from bad parenting.

  2. 2 Deacon Blue
    December 2, 2008 at 8:46 pm

    Your cat is cute…I should probably make sure Little Girl Blue doesn’t see any posts about her, given that she’s already blowing Mrs. Blue and I up with requests for a dog, a cat and a rabbit…now wouldn’t THAT be a trio, eh?

    I could see you being good with kids based on your posted interactions and conversations with PlayBelle.

  3. December 3, 2008 at 1:51 am

    Your checklist is so right on….

    Those that seek parenthood because they want someone to love them are flirting with major delusion.

    Those that seek parenthood hoping that, somehow, children will fulfill them–bring them joy, and happiness–are at best naive, and at worst foolish.

    Children are takers, rarely givers. Children demand attention and rarely give it. Children demand love, and rarely give it. Children are human sponges.

    So, with all the downsides to child rearing, why have children? Now that’s a great question!

    You have children, not to obtain something (fulfillment, happiness, joy, love), but to experience something (giving, loving, patience, joy, fulfillment), by brining those things to yourself, through the act of giving them away.

    It’s in giving that we receive: understanding, love, kindness, joy, you name it.

    Therefore, all relationships are holy (and Life’s greatest gift), because, through them, we become by way of our experiences, all those things we would merely know and not experience, were it not for relationships.


  4. 4 Deacon Blue
    December 3, 2008 at 11:43 am

    Thanks, First Domino. It’s a nice sentiment and good follow-on thought to my post.

    In a sense, having a child (or children) is an act of creation, I think. It’s our small glimpse, to some extent, into God’s role and how God views us. Or at least it CAN be.

    Because, as you noted, it is soooooo not about what we GET out of it much of the time but what we PUT into it.

  5. December 3, 2008 at 11:59 am

    Amen to that brother.

    I love my little rascal and Lord willing I’ll love the little one on the way, but nothing prepares for having kids except having kids.

  6. December 3, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    First Domino

    I think children are takers and givers. My little man is a beast, but he can also be the sweetest person in the world. And when he gives me love, it feels more pure than any other love besides God’s.

  7. December 3, 2008 at 10:27 pm

    In my comments, Big Man, I wanted to address unreasonable parental expectations. Too often parenthood becomes a burden, and a disappointment, because parents approach it from the perspective of receiving something, rather than giving something.

    Marriages often fail for the same reason, as do many other relationships. Relationships of all kind are blessed, because they afford us a gift that we can’t get anywhere else. Because of them, we get to experience Who and What We Truly Are. No other means has been contrived for us to do that, but relationships.

    Hence, relationships rise to the level of holiness, and every person an angel–whether we entertain them unaware, briefly, or for a lifetime.

    Hold your little man close, and often: You’ll turn around one day and he won’t be a “little man,” and you’ll wonder where all the time went.


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Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley


Jeff Bouley

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December 2008

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