Be Honest Now… by Miz Pink

I have a friend. No make that acquaintence. I mean I’ve been the beach with her and her kiddos and my kiddos before but I met her online first and then met her in the flesh and I sometimes wonder about her mental stability.

Okay. Let me start over. I’m on a ramble.

This gal I know…I see her online and I see her in real life.

She’s big. Aint nuthin wrong with that. I know lots of big folks and I’m not gonna rip on you for being overweight or in some cases so fat that the docs have to roll out the term ‘morbidly obese’ for you.

Now this gal I’m talking about, she isn’t sloppy or anything. I think she’s pretty well put together and all that. But she’s definitely overweight…really wide. You might use ‘Rubenesque’ to describe her but I think she’s more than a few pounds outside that realm.

So why the hell are every one of her album pics on Facebook, and the pics of her on her blog, and her Twitter avatar…why do they all look like a woman who’s a pretty average weight?

She and her husband are wizards with camera angle and lighting, and she wears clothes that slenderize her and she never has a shot that goes below mid cleavage.

My thought is: Why take shots like that?

It isn’t honest. It’s false advertising. Now I’d cut her some slack if she didn’t like her body size and shape and was desirous of being more fit. But she ain’t. She’s content with her body…it’s pretty clear from my interactions with her. She thinks pretty highly of herself in most ways (maybe too highly) and she doesn’t have any self-esteem issues.

So, why make yourself look so much different…so much ‘better’ in the sense that most people define better…online??? I don’t get it. If you’re proud of who you are, and your comfortable in your body why the need to vamp yourself up for the folks online most of whom have never met you and never will.

I don’t know why this bugs me so much but it does. Maybe because I see too many people who are one way in real life and totally different online. They are civilized humans face to face but asshats in online discussions. I guess I want people to act the way online that they do in real life, and show the same kinda pride in both places.


9 Responses to “Be Honest Now… by Miz Pink”

  1. 1 Deacon Blue
    May 16, 2010 at 12:54 am

    I’m confused. I’ve seen enough “What Not to Wear” on TLC and I’ve been around the block enough to know about black being slenderizing, and vertical stripes, wide belts that run a little high, etc. As an ensemble and a whole-body look.

    But if she’s only showing her head and shoulder and maybe a little farther south in her photos, how can she slenderize herself with what she’s wearing?

    Or is this my male ignorance coming into play?

  2. 2 Inda Pink
    May 16, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Deep V-necks dude. Elongates things buddy boy

  3. May 16, 2010 at 9:51 pm

    Wow. Yeah. If anything I choose photos that aren’t the most flattering so people aren’t disappointed when they meet me. Maybe that’s just as dumb…

    No. Too flattering (misleading) is worse.

  4. 4 Deacon Blue
    May 17, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Well, I’d say that leaning too far in the self-deprecation category isn’t a great idea…but yeah, I agree it’s a lot better that making yourself look far better than reality (unless, of course, one’s job involves Hollywood acting or New York runway modeling). For your part, I think you’ve always stuck close to reality, which is good.

    Of course, there’s a lot to say for anonymity as well, but that’s a tough choice with social networking and blogging. Whether to share your face or not. I know I kept my name and face hidden here for long enough…

  5. 5 Thomas
    May 17, 2010 at 10:26 am

    I’m guilty of retouching my photos, taking out blemishes, smoothing some areas out. I think everyone has a mental image of themselves and want’s to strive for the pics to come as close to that as possible.

    As far as not showing your face for networking purposes, I think that defeats part of the purpose. I do some networking via facebook, but that’s mostly social. The serious networking I do for my business I use a paid service like http://www.stanfordwhoswho.com, the people on there on there for one reason, to Network. So even if they don’t have a pic, I do know they are serious about growing their business, just as I’m about mine.

    Just my two cents. Nice Dr. Fate pic btw.

  6. 6 Deacon Blue
    May 17, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    Good points. I can’t speak for Miz Pink (though I do anyway…unlike my wife Mrs. Blue, Miz Pink can’t physically harm me from where she’s at…LOL), but I think she was talking more about drastic misrepresentations. A little touch-up here or there seems OK to me, but if this is a woman who’s rather large making herself look entirely average size, that seems more like misrepresentation than touch-up.

    As for the networking, I did use my image in Facebook and Twitter, but for a while, I was concerned that my blog might pose difficulties with my paying work (something I’ve clearly gotten over).

    As for Dr. Fate, I’ve always been a fan. Honestly, though, I prefer Doctor Strange from Marvel Comics, but at the time I picked the Dr. Fate image, I was still hiding my identity, so the helm-wearing look seemed appropriate. 😉 I figured I should go ahead and reverse the image colors though to fit my “blue” moniker 😀

  7. 7 Inda Pink
    May 17, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    If you are very large and you are presenting yourself as beign proud of how you look and who you are your mental image of yourself just can’t be an averaged sized person. Because that means first you are lying about being proud of yourself and/or second you’re maybe delusional because you can’t be really big and think you’re average.

    Little touching up stuff? Sure no prob. Trying to hide 150 pounds give or take? No so good. If you are large and have no desire to change that’s cool. Embrace your largeness.

    That is all.

    (Oh, I can find ways to hurt you from afar Deke….mwaaa ha ha ha hhaaaaa)

  8. 8 societyvs
    May 18, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    Marketing baby, it’s all marketing! Facebook, and the likes, is all a self promotion tool to make ourselves look how we want/sound. Why use a dull picture when you can use one with some pizazz? Maybe it’s just me, but I see stuff like that not as ‘fake’ but a ‘pseudo-reality’ where we make ourselves into imagery we want to look like.

  9. 9 Deacon Blue
    May 18, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    I should put a full head of hair back on my head again then…LOL

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Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

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