Archive for August 8th, 2010


Open Memo to a Random Ass-hat

Temporarily marring what had up until that point been a pretty awesome day tooling around and visiting the beach and such with the family, we are on a small and crowded pier. I have just bought a messy fried concoction from one of the many stands crowded on the narrow pier, and head for one of the few tables nearby.

These tables can sit four adults comfortably.

A man is standing at the end of one such table.

Herein ends the setup for my rant/open memo…

Dear Jerk,

When you are standing at the very end of a table, talking on your cell phone, with your drink at the very edge of the table, and I sit down on one of the bench seats with my 5-year-old girl, at the other end from where you are, giving you plenty of space, I do not want to hear the snippy words, “I was sitting here” as you walk off in a huff with your phone, your drink, and whatever conversation you were having.

Seating is at a premium.

I had messy food and a little girl.

But most importantly, and for the record, if you are standing, and using the edge of a table as your drink-rest, and you are there simply to talk on a phone and not to relax or eat something, I have news for you:

You were not sitting there.

That is all.

Don’t ruin my vibe again.


Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley


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August 2010
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