08
Aug
10

Open Memo to a Random Ass-hat

Temporarily marring what had up until that point been a pretty awesome day tooling around and visiting the beach and such with the family, we are on a small and crowded pier. I have just bought a messy fried concoction from one of the many stands crowded on the narrow pier, and head for one of the few tables nearby.

These tables can sit four adults comfortably.

A man is standing at the end of one such table.

Herein ends the setup for my rant/open memo…

Dear Jerk,

When you are standing at the very end of a table, talking on your cell phone, with your drink at the very edge of the table, and I sit down on one of the bench seats with my 5-year-old girl, at the other end from where you are, giving you plenty of space, I do not want to hear the snippy words, “I was sitting here” as you walk off in a huff with your phone, your drink, and whatever conversation you were having.

Seating is at a premium.

I had messy food and a little girl.

But most importantly, and for the record, if you are standing, and using the edge of a table as your drink-rest, and you are there simply to talk on a phone and not to relax or eat something, I have news for you:

You were not sitting there.

That is all.

Don’t ruin my vibe again.

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4 Responses to “Open Memo to a Random Ass-hat”


  1. August 9, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    there are jerks everywhere unfortuneately. my recent response to one: take an effing leap off a short pier and take your toxic trek with you! [to a bicyclist on a trek bicycle, who felt the need to reprimand me for violating the yellow line rule, on a deserted country road, while participating in memorial bike ride for a family killed by a DUI]

  2. 2 Big Man
    August 9, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    Must have been hot out.

  3. 4 Deacon Blue
    August 10, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    @ robyn,

    I’m a firm believer in the “If a traffic law is broken, and no one is around to be harmed by it, nothing happened.” Sort of a variation on the “tree falling in the woods and no one’s around to hear it” meme.

    @ Big Man,

    One of our cooler days, actually. (It’s been uncharacteristically hot and humid round these parts this summer…though nothing like your neck of the wood…but this was a gorgeous day, which made me wonder all the more at the snark and extreme territorialism of the guy. I shrugged it off at the time, but it started to irk me later in the day…besides, a rant gives me a change to blog…LOL)

    @ Anna Renee

    For what it’s worth, I’m feeling you, too. 😀 Popped over to your blog a couple of times. About time to add you to my blogroll, methinks


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Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

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