12
Apr
11

Can’t Be Any Worse Than Snooki’s Book

I’m going to be honest with all of you: Deacon Blue was a stab at a marketing hook.

I am a deacon (though not currently in service as one), and the personality and views I’ve brought to this blog are all my own, but the creation of the Deacon Blue persona was something I had hoped might catch on a bit more. I mean, we have “Dear Abby” and “Miss Manners”…we have Dan Savage with his sex/relationship advice and books…we have Martha Stewart and Emeril Lagasse…you get the idea. These are real people but they are also overblown personae.

I figured, “Hey, I’m a writer. I can be witty and insightful (as long as I’m not trying to do it while talking). Why not create an approach that might catch some attention?”

How many snarky, nerdy, liberal, swearing deacons have you seen out there trying to engage with the masses?

Well, as you might guess from the lack of self-promoting of book deals or radio appearances…or even an alleged affair with Angelina Jolie or Salma Hayek (shit, I’d settle for being rumored to be connected with Kate Gosselin if it would get me a book deal)…well, I haven’t hit the big time. Or, really, even the small time.

I came out of the closet with my real name and face (though I still won’t come out of the closet with my kinky erotica-writing persona), and still, I haven’t gained any traction.

Not that it’s stopped me from keeping this blog around and being on Twitter and such.

But it is disheartening to see people like Snooki from “Jersey Shore” get book deals and big money to speak at universities just because they are willing to act a fool in public and on camera. Especially when your wife (that is, my wife) jokingly reminds you that you should tap into your inner white conqueror type and figure out how to be the guy who gets paid $22,000 a day sometimes for social media consulting or the person who gets a three-book deal out of their blogging.

Mind you, she was joking. Lightning can’t strike for everyone. But still, it makes me think: What do I have to do to get paid for the level of skill I bring to the table? And let there be no doubt: I may second-guess my writing sometimes and I may generally be humble, but I know I’m better than at least half the people out there with publishing deals. (Even if I don’t realize it until well after I’ve written whatever the hell it is that I needed to write for whatever purpose I wrote it for…paid or otherwise).

So, I think I’m going to start working on my book. Would like it to be a fiction novel, but that’s an even more fickle market than most. So here it is:

How to Succeed Through Masturbation

Or, Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last; We Slip Away from the Race Course to Slash the Tires of the Douchebags Who Run Fast

Publishers, start sending me your proposals about how much you want to pay me and how soon you need it done.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Can’t Be Any Worse Than Snooki’s Book”


  1. 1 Pollypureheart
    April 29, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    I agree it makes me sicker than sick when dummies like Snooki and 21 year-old slutty fools like Bristol are getting paid by BIG NAME publishing companies to write their ‘memoirs’ when chumps like me have to patrol the internet like a neighborhood watch for reputable publishers. Maybe I should be a drunky nasty loudmouth skank on a reality show or Snooki.

  2. May 19, 2011 at 10:59 am

    I sometimes wonder if I just need to lose all my decorum and common sense to get published, too.

    (Sorry for late reply, btw)


Comments are currently closed.

Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley

_________

Jeff Bouley

To find out more about me professionally, click here. To find out more about me generally, click here.

_________

E-Mail

You can reach Deacon Blue/Jeff Bouley at deaconbluemail@gmail.com.

_________

LinkedIn

For my public profile, click here.

_________

Tales of the Whethermen

My superhero fiction blog, click here

_________

Raising the Goddess

My parenting blog, click here

Copyright Info and Images

For more about images used on this site, and copyrights regarding them, as well as usage/copyright information about my own writing as posted here, click here.

Deac Tweets

  • The week has been a bit rough in (many) spots, but I did just score three pairs of shoes for daughter for $45 total, so there's that 😛 6 hours ago
  • RT @wkamaubell: Because @AnnCoulter has NO INTEREST in actually speaking at Berkeley. She wants to be banned. Trying to look like the cool… 6 hours ago
  • RT @AnthonyNMorgan: "The function, the very serious function of racism, is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work" - Toni Morrison… 1 day ago
  • RT @brianklaas: -Fastest NSA resignation (Flynn) -Fastest FBI investigation -Most unpopular in history -Most ethical conflicts -Most golf i… 1 day ago
  • RT @kylegriffin1: Trump gives a shout out to Pavarotti, calls him "a good friend of mine". Pavarotti died 10 years ago in 2007. —via @MSNB1 day ago

Archives

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 836 other followers

April 2011
M T W T F S S
« Mar   May »
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

%d bloggers like this: