So, class, what has this week taught us when it comes to politics and the Internet?
If you improperly frame and incorrectly relate a key part of early American history (Paul Revere’s famous “the British are coming” ride, for example), a good rule of thumb, when appearing on TV shortly thereafter following all the ridicule, would be to say, “I was on the spot, and I flubbed things up a bit and got a couple different elements of Paul Revere’s life mixed together and a little off the mark on a couple points.” The response is not to say, “I know my history” and then to remain silent as your supporters try to alter the Wikipedia entry on Paul Revere to match your fictitious view of things.
Because the message is everywhere, and no matter how many supporters you have, the truth is going to come out and more people are likely to shake their heads in disgust at you than to nod their heads in support.
Also, if you have been flirting on Twitter with some young lady, and sent her a picture of your penis and possibly other parts of your manly body, and that gets out, claiming to have been hacked, expressing uncertainty about whether that’s your junk on display, and dodging questions is not the way to go.
It’s the Internet Age. The truth will come out. If it’s your dick online, it’s going to be revealed as such. You cannot hide, and every day you duck and dodge makes it worse. Just come out and say, “I flirted online, as many people do, and it got a little out of hand. I apologize, and I’m embarrassed at myself. On the other hand, I’m far from alone in having done this, and I was not nearly as creepy as many folks who do.”
Own your mistake. Take the power of shaming you away from the media and the public and your political enemies, many of whom have worse sexual skeletons in the closet. Don’t undermine yourself with lies that you must have known couldn’t hold up, assuming you have even half the brains Jon Stewart gives you credit for having.
That’s our lesson on Internet reality for today.
Now go about the regular tweeting of your gonads and messing up of history that you should have paid more attention to in high school and college.
I know I will.