Posts Tagged ‘consent

03
Jan
12

Slip-Slidin’ Away…

Ladies and gentlemen…recognizing the legitimacy of homosexual and bisexual relations, along with recognition of same-gender marriage, will not lead to some collapse of civilization. Trust me. Given the fact that some of you may think homosexuality has never been a publicly endorsed concept, maybe you need to do a little more research into some ancient Greek folks who had some feared and effective military forces in which getting it on with your shield-mate was perfectly fine.

So, why is the whole same-sex sex thing on my mind again?

Recently, I started following a Twitter account called RP_Newsletter. It’s a great account that spends most of its time showing how crazy, deluded, homophobic and racist Ron Paul is by printing excerpts from the various newsletters he now claims he had nothing to do with (despite having publicly associated himself with them in the past). The account gets a bit repetitive at times, but it’s nice to be made aware of just how out-of-touch and dangerous many of Ron Paul’s views have been (and chances are he still holds most or all of those views). For example, Ron Paul seems to have a notion that the rise of HIV/AIDS is directly linked to rising acceptance of homosexuality in society, which pretty much proves he must have been a shitty physician, since any doctor worth his salt knows that sexually transmitted diseases don’t give a shit as they evolve into nastier forms whether you’re banging a fellow dude on the sly or openly.

Also, we have Rick Santorum in the race to be the GOP presidential candidate against Ron Paul and others, and I love how that jackass seems to think that legal recognition and acceptance of same-sex stuff will lead to legal incest, bestiality, pedophilia and adultery.

That last one really tickles my funny bone, given the fact it’s not really illegal to commit adultery NOW, and it’s far more widely practiced than same-sex relations. In fact, it’s one of the most popular sexual activities among Democratic AND Republican politicians alike.

But what this all has me in mind of is that strange notion that if we acknowledge that some people are gay (or bi) and that they have a right to make that choice as grown folks and be proud of who they are, that there is some slippery slope awaiting that we will all fall down, with civilization as we know it dragged down in tatters behind us.

Such a notion shows that believers of such things don’t have much in the way of critical-thinking skills. Of course, it’s also become clear to me that given how insanely obstinate, cruel, obstructionist, classist, evil, greedy and mean-tempered so many conservatives are these days, most who support them obviously don’t know what critical thinking IS (especially if they are working-class or poor folks supporting the GOP).

First off, there is no slippery slope connection between homosexuality and pedophilia. Despite all the high-profile stories of priests and altar boys, the fact is that pedophilia isn’t about same-sex relations. It’s about sick fucks who abuse children, and a lot more heterosexual sick fucks out there do it than homosexual sick fucks. You see, homosexuality is way different; it’s overwhelmingly about people making decisions to have sex with other age-appropriate folks who happen to have the same sexual apparatus. Point is that homosexual relations are overwhelmingly consensual. Pedophilia is overwhelmingly abusive and non-consensual. There is no comparison.

Same thing with bestiality. Animals can’t give consent. Aside from the fact that equating sexual relations between two people with sex between a person and an animal is just plain damn rude, ignorant and insensitive, there just isn’t a comparison. Sexual relations with an animal is forcing YOUR desires onto the animal, which inherently has less power than you do with your bigger brain and opposable thumbs. Sure, there are a few dogs here or some other animal now and again that might take the initiative to mount a human, but generally speaking, they don’t want to go there. But again, recognition of same-sex relations, which are consensual, does not compare to bestiality at all.

And incest…well…OK, there is a potential progression there. I admit it. At least if we’re taking consensual incest. If you’re talking about Uncle Joey making inappropriate moves in his young niece or nephew, that’s pedophilia primarily, and the incest portion is just secondary crap that make the whole situation sicker. But there are folks of consensual age who are attracted to close relatives and don’t see anything wrong with having sex with them. For me, this is a taboo area. I think it’s an inappropriate line to cross. But at the same time, who the hell am I to tell, for example, two adult siblings whom they can or cannot have sex with? Why should there be any issues of legality involved here? Why should we be able to criminalize the act of ANY two adults in full control of their faculties that involves sex? Logically, there is no reason, because it’s between those two people and no one else.

Sure, I see value in criminalizing adult choices that put others at risk or cause them undesired harm (such as driving under the influence or choosing to rape someone), but the only risk of incest aside from the “ick factor” most of us feel about it is a slightly increased risk of genetic problems in any children. But Lord knows, plenty of people who aren’t blood relations can legally have kids when they have high risks of passing along bad stuff to their kids. In the end, though, the vast majority of people don’t want to have sex with their close relatives, except maybe first cousins in some situations, which is actually legal in a lot of places. But folks generally don’t want to have sex with siblings, parents or grown children. They just don’t. It’s such a small group compared to homosexual folks, which are already a subset of the sexually active adult population, that I don’t see a big rush for people to cry out, “We want incestual marriage legalized.” Sure, it COULD happen, but I just don’t see a big fanbase for that rising up in protest.

My dear conservatives, your slippery-slope theory is slick, but ultimately sloppy.

Why don’t you just drop the same-sex slippery slope theory and move on. You were wrong (and often still are) in terms of your racial views, and the same goes for your same-sex paranoia. Many of you crowing the loudest probably have some same-sex baggage in your closet anyway, so just shut up already.

22
Feb
08

Between the sheets

do_not_disturb_anvari-org.jpg I know, I know…here I call myself Deacon Blue, mention how I’ll be hitting touchy topics, and so far I’ll I’ve done mostly is call people out for narrow-mindedness.

Ooooo, how racy.

Well, I never said I’d be a non-stop, one-stop-shopping place for juicy, racy, raw stuff, but here we come, finally, to some sex. About damn time, too.

Before I start opening myself up to threats of violence and flame wars for specific stuff like homosexuality, abortion and more, let’s start general. I’m probably already taking enough of a chance with the photo I’m using today. The Christian Coalition could be on my doorstep any second now to haul me away.

So, let’s ask the question: Does God really give a shit what we do in the bedroom? Or, for that matter, on the kitchen counter, in the back of the SUV, in the bushes at the back of the public park, or in a large vat full of cherry Jell-O?

Well, yes. And, no.

How’s that for commitment? But seriously, there is an answer. Let’s start with sex itself. Did God create sex simply for procreation? Um, a big “no” on that one. Folks, God is not in the game of making things enjoyable and tantalizing simply for the sake of trying to get us to fuck ourselves up. It’s true that many sinful things are tantalizing, but sex itself is not made to be a trap for us. God made sex to be enjoyed. He made it so that it could be a deep bonding (or even bondage) experience for couples. He also made it for making babies.

If he only wanted us to be fruitful and multiply, God would have either given us mating seasons like the animals have or He would have made it a sin not to have kids or something like that (and I defy anyone to show me a Bible passage that says you have to have kids). If you want some evidence that the Bible supports the enjoyment of sex, here are some tidbits:

Proverbs chapter 5, verses 18-19

Let thy well-spring be blessed, and get thy joy from the wife of thy youth. A loving hind! a graceful doe! Let her bosom content thee at all times and in her love mayst thou stray evermore.

OK, a little flowery, and I used one of the older translations, but damn, that’s pretty sexy in a Hallmark card/Harlequin romance kinda way.

First Corinthians chapter 7, verses 3-5

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time…

In other words, once we marry, we are supposed to both give and take when it comes to the enjoyment of our bodies. Yes, we have the right to say “no” but overall, we are supposed to relish in the chance to bond with each other sexually.

And here’s the capper, as far as I’m concerned, and will make those of you with more…um, exotic…tastes feel better:

Hebrews 13:4

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

I prefer the King James Bible version on this one that I use above, mostly because with more modern translations, people tend to skew it more fully toward the meaning that sex is OK among married people, while glossing over the “undefiled bed” part of things. Yes, part of the undefiled bed business is that you remain faithful to your spouse. But the other part is that pretty much whatever two consenting adult married folks do to each other is OK. Consenting, remember? Neither husband nor wife can force an act on the other person with justification. For more on that consent issue and the Bible’s view on the wrongness of abuse, see Ephesians chapter 5, verses 28 and 29 (“So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.”) This talks about men, but as with so many things in the Bible, it really applies to both genders.

But within the bounds of consentlet ‘er rip! You want to wear black leather boots and a red latex bustier and bring the vibrator along for the ride? Go for it! You like a little riding crop across the ass? More power to ya! You think having a French silk pie mashed between your privates sounds cool? Go for it, but please put some plastic on top of your bed so you don’t ruin those sheets. Think a sheep sounds cool…

Whoa! OK, we have to draw a line there on that last one. Last time I checked, animals were living creatures that lack the ability to give consent. Also, the Bible is really, really clear that men aren’t supposed to lie down with animals, particularly in one passage. In fact, it’s so clear that a couple lines later, the same passage also notes that women also aren’t supposed to “do the do” with beasts. What’s funny is in that same passage of scripture, men are admonished not to have sex with other men yet that no-same-sex sentiment isn’t repeated for the women (one of those confusing bits in the Bible), but we’ll talk about gay/lesbian/bi/transgender stuff in more detail some other day.

Also, get that ménage à trois, foursome and moresome stuff out of your head. Not that I don’t appreciate the entertainment potential for such bedplay, but that involves issues like fornication and adultery (even if the two married folks want to claim Biblical immunity, they’d be encouraging the third person (and fourth, and so on…) to commit two sins, and that ain’t cool).

Now, I’ve been hitting the married couple thing heavily here, and there’s a reason: Sex outside of marriage isn’t biblically defended. That said, premarital sex (a.k.a fornication) is one of those sins, much like lying, coveting and not honoring our parents (to name just a few) that the vast majority seem pretty much doomed to commit. It ain’t right to do it, but it ain’t the only sin we go bonkers over. And I can guarantee that at least 3 out of every 4 preachers who lambast people for fornication have had premarital sex themselves, even if it was only with the women they eventually married. And the other 1 out of 4 probably dreamed and jacked off about the idea of it so much that they might as well have just gone and done it.

(Photo from www.anvari.org)




Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley

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