Posts Tagged ‘deacon blue


Authentically Me

Mrs. Blue and I have had a number of conversations lately during which we’ve talked about the “authenticity” of blogs these days. Particularly in the part of the blogosphere she frequents, she’s seen some bloggers really take off, getting book deals, ads galore and/or sponsorships that have allowed them a pretty decent income. In some cases, the bloggers have been able to make blogging their actual main source of income.

In the process, though, she’s noticed that some of them have pulled back and changed. They’ve become less open and less authentic. Instead of sharing the bits of themselves that first drew people in to read their posts, they are now in some cases just posting bland, short posts and shilling for products provided to them by sponsors. They have, it seems, in many cases quite literally sold out.

I understand that often we make compromises to make a living. But at the same time, it distresses me that we are sometimes willing to give up who we are and what we stand for to get ahead in life.

I have to say that I’m not down with that. For example (and this may seem petty or vain), if I were told that I could get a job I’d interviewed for, but to do so I’d have to be clean-shaven, I’d say “no, thanks” unless my family’s survival depending on that job. Why? Because facial hair is a part of who I am. It’s important to me, and I won’t have someone dictate that I have to change for them when it has no bearing on my performance or ability to do the tasks I’d be assigned.

Now, I’m not in much danger of exploding onto the larger blog scene with this blog. I don’t think sponsorships, book deals or big-time companies buying ads here is something I’ll have to deal with (though, please, by all means, come forward and make some offers if you’re reading this). But I do think about myself in relation to this blog and where I might take it. Also, how it might affect my life.

Those who’ve been with me a while may remember there was a time my real name wasn’t attached to this blog at all. Those who follow me elsewhere online would have no problem figuring out who my wife is and what her blog is, even though I continue to call her Mrs. Blue here. (As for “why” I still do that, and call my daughter and stepson Little Girl Blue and Son of Blue…well, it’s part of the theme and the vibe here, so I keep it.)

Mrs. Blue, I should mention, has taken her own blog to self-hosting, and is looking for ways to modestly monetize it. I’ve taken one of my anonymous erotic blogs to self-hosting and the others may follow soon, for much the same reason. At some point, I’m sure this blog will become a self-hosted one, too.

And so I think about who I am, and who I should be here.

In the end, I think I should be me. Continue to be myself, and perhaps even loosen up a little more at times and let more of myself show.

That’s not as easy as it might sound. This blog has evolved and will continue to do so. It started as a place to talks about my spiritual journey, my thoughts on the Bible and how those relate to things in general life, like relationships, politics and sex. Then I found myself getting silly at times or sharing recommendations related to media and pop culture. I started commenting on politics without any spirituality involved. I started sometimes to simply talk about my life. I don’t know exactly what shape it will take in the end, but it’s a moving target.

At one point, I made the decision to sort of tone down my language and such. This blog used to be called “Holy Shit from Deacon Blue” as opposed to “Holy Sh!+ from Deacon Blue.” That change happened when I decided to not be so “blue'” in my language.

Well, fuck it!

I swear. It’s part of who I am, and I can’t think of a single reason God or Jesus would give two shits whether I pepper my wisdom and/or ramblings with some swear words. I won’t use profanity as a crutch, but I will express myself as the situation dictates and according to what feels right personally or necessary to convey a point properly.

Will I change the name back? Probably not. The “Sh!+” thing is kind of cool, I think, and it evokes a little the #&@!* kind of thing you see in cartoons sometimes to stand in for profanity.

But I will be who I am. This is scary at times, mind you. Remember, my resume is up on this site. My name. I am followed on Twitter by people who have given me work in the past and might (or might not) recommend me to other people who might have work for me. It’s also not much of a jump from here to my LinkedIn account (or vice-versa). Will being who I am affect my ability to get work? Has it already?

I can’t know for certain, but I also can’t let that be my guiding light for this blog. If I do that, I might as well just stop blogging.

Sharing my views can be unnerving. My post yesterday was visceral and expressed a view that many of my left-leaning friends might not appreciate. But you know what, if they are my friends, whether of the electronic/virtual or the real-life/real-time variety, they will value my differences and quirks as I do theirs.

At times, this blog suffers from serious droughts, and I don’t know ultimately what shape it will take. But spirituality, politics, social issues and snark will always be part of the mix. I hope I can keep you along for the entire ride, and if I should become famous, I hope I never sell out my authentic self for the one that attracts easier money and fame.


Can’t Be Any Worse Than Snooki’s Book

I’m going to be honest with all of you: Deacon Blue was a stab at a marketing hook.

I am a deacon (though not currently in service as one), and the personality and views I’ve brought to this blog are all my own, but the creation of the Deacon Blue persona was something I had hoped might catch on a bit more. I mean, we have “Dear Abby” and “Miss Manners”…we have Dan Savage with his sex/relationship advice and books…we have Martha Stewart and Emeril Lagasse…you get the idea. These are real people but they are also overblown personae.

I figured, “Hey, I’m a writer. I can be witty and insightful (as long as I’m not trying to do it while talking). Why not create an approach that might catch some attention?”

How many snarky, nerdy, liberal, swearing deacons have you seen out there trying to engage with the masses?

Well, as you might guess from the lack of self-promoting of book deals or radio appearances…or even an alleged affair with Angelina Jolie or Salma Hayek (shit, I’d settle for being rumored to be connected with Kate Gosselin if it would get me a book deal)…well, I haven’t hit the big time. Or, really, even the small time.

I came out of the closet with my real name and face (though I still won’t come out of the closet with my kinky erotica-writing persona), and still, I haven’t gained any traction.

Not that it’s stopped me from keeping this blog around and being on Twitter and such.

But it is disheartening to see people like Snooki from “Jersey Shore” get book deals and big money to speak at universities just because they are willing to act a fool in public and on camera. Especially when your wife (that is, my wife) jokingly reminds you that you should tap into your inner white conqueror type and figure out how to be the guy who gets paid $22,000 a day sometimes for social media consulting or the person who gets a three-book deal out of their blogging.

Mind you, she was joking. Lightning can’t strike for everyone. But still, it makes me think: What do I have to do to get paid for the level of skill I bring to the table? And let there be no doubt: I may second-guess my writing sometimes and I may generally be humble, but I know I’m better than at least half the people out there with publishing deals. (Even if I don’t realize it until well after I’ve written whatever the hell it is that I needed to write for whatever purpose I wrote it for…paid or otherwise).

So, I think I’m going to start working on my book. Would like it to be a fiction novel, but that’s an even more fickle market than most. So here it is:

How to Succeed Through Masturbation

Or, Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last; We Slip Away from the Race Course to Slash the Tires of the Douchebags Who Run Fast

Publishers, start sending me your proposals about how much you want to pay me and how soon you need it done.


Deac’s Greatest Hits, Vol. 1

When you buy one of those “Greatest Hits” albums of an artist you really dig listening to, does it ever strike you that yes, they are the most popular “hits,” but they often aren’t the “greatest” music that person put out? Well, in that kind of vein, let me roll out links to some of my old posts that I think are worth you reading if you haven’t hit them up already. In some cases, they are posts I really feel I made an important point with; in others, they are simply posts that have gotten a lot of traffic. (It’s also a way of doing an easy and lazy post on a day I don’t want to work too hard…)

Never Promised You a Rose Garden

You Don’t Know Jack(ing Off)

Blinded Me With Science (This one caught me a lot of flak in the comments, and probably much of it deserved. I don’t think it was the best argument I’ve ever made in a post, but the discussion that was generated…and the arguments and recriminations…are interesting)

Porn Again Threat Assessment (and, frankly, all the Porn Again posts associated with this, links to which are at the end of the comments section for the post. After the “You Don’t Know Jack(ing) Off” post, this Porn Again series had to have been one of the most heavily trafficked things I’ve ever done. You bunch or pervs, you…)

Deacon Blue vs. Nsangoma (I actually don’t dislike Nsangoma very much anymore when I see him post in other blogs I frequent. He still says some jackassed things at times, but so do I. These days even when he’s stirring up trouble he seems to be doing it less obnoxiously and he’s much more often spreading some knowledge, even when he does so with major snarkiness. This post, though, got me a lot of attention early on.)

That’s Truly Beastly

Only Two Rules to Follow?

And for my partner in crime around here, a post of hers that is my single most-viewed post of all time(mostly because people find it while searching for pictures of Salma Hayek…but I still think it’s a cool post anyway):

Kid Unfriendly by Miz Pink

Another plug for Miz Pink on the following, because it made me rethink some of my thoughts on gender and the word of God:

Woman on Top

Also, a plug for Big Man, who’s posted here a couple times, since this guest post got some good traffic too:

Pro-life, Pro-choice…Pro Sport


Ask the deacon

It’s not as if I’m hurting for things to talk about, since I have tons of ideas for blog posts. But to encourage perhaps a little bit of comment activity around here, and to make sure I’m actually interacting with someone, let’s have our first  installment of “Ask the Deacon.”

Feel free to actually ask me a question (I’m not a degreed bible scholar, but I have at least half a brain and some help from the Holy Spirit) or simply suggest future topics.

Let ‘er rip, folks!

Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley


Jeff Bouley

To find out more about me professionally, click here. To find out more about me generally, click here.



You can reach Deacon Blue/Jeff Bouley at



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March 2023

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