Posts Tagged ‘desire


All In the Head?

openmindSo, I’m having a bit of writer’s block on the novel, so I guess another day or two will pass before the next installment(s), though I think I’ll be picking up steam on that project again soon. In the meantime, I’ll go and get spiritual instead today, since Miz Pink seems to have dropped off the radar again temporarily (I blame the dang kid that insists on being changed and breastfed regularly…two activities that I’m sure make typing pretty near impossible).

So, what I want to talk about is the whole idea of sinful thoughts being as bad as sinful actions. A popular belief among many conservative, Bible-belting-you-over-the-head types.

A belief which, I have to say, is a total load of horsecrap.

Jesus talks about this notion a bit, supposedly, as chronicled in the Gospel of Matthew, and here’s one snippet:

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh o­n a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. (Matthew chapter 5, verses 27 & 28)

Now, by way of an aside, there’s an interesting discussion about what adultery really means, right here, but you can look at that later. It doesn’t have any bearing on my arguments here. Also, before I start making my arguments, I’ll remind those of you who are still confusing me with a theologian that I’m neither a linguist nor biblical scholar, so take my ravings here with an appropriate dosage of salt.

I don’t think that Jesus’ argument was really that thinking about sex outside of marriage, for example, or thinking about killing (which he mentions right before the adultery thing), for instance, are as sinful as actually doing the acts.

First, Jesus talks about the heart, not the mind. That is, we’re talking about true feelings. Intense motions. Intentions. Not mere passing thoughts. Fact is, as humans, it’s pretty much impossible to never look at someone with sexual desire. Flat out impossible. The issue is more this: Did you think about sinful activity with a real fervor and serious consideration about doing it?

If so, there is where your sin may lie.

But more to the point, perhaps, let’s look at the context in which Jesus is speaking. This was the ancient world. People didn’t typically live in cities, and cities of the time were still much smaller affairs than what we have today. Therefore, to look at, say, a woman with serious lust was a problem in part because this is a woman you have access to.

If I look lustfully upon a woman on the commuter train of a major city, chances are I won’t really have a chance to act on my desires. I don’t know where she works. I don’t know where she lives. The most pressing danger of “sinful” fantasies is that you might actually act out the sin. In the ancient world, looking at some dude’s wife with lust meant you might have a very real chance, regardless of which woman in town you chose, of knowing how to find her and giving yourself an opportunity.

So, the mere thinking of a thing isn’t sinful.

Because, let’s face it, if that were the case, good intentions would be enough to save us in the eyes of God. Because if thoughts are as good as actions, then wanting to do something good is just as powerful as actually taking action, right?

Of course not. We are supposed to take positive actions, not simply intend or wish them.

Finally, another nail in the coffin of the notion of sinful thoughts being as bad as sinful actions: Jesus thought sinful things.

Oh, don’t get ready to stone my ass, now. Satan tempted Jesus. Jesus led a sinless life, despite knowing the power and allure of sin. Jesus couldn’t possibly have gone his whole life without considering the possibility and implications and consequences of doing a sinful act. He had to be capable to considering the possibility of sin, or he couldn’t be tempted. He had to know what it felt like to desire things that were wrong, or he couldn’t have understood his human side. Plus, if he was incapable of even considering sin, then what was the big deal about his sinless life? If it was some cakewalk for him, then the whole exercise meant nothing.

Just because you think a thing doesn’t make it so.

Nor does it define your true intentions.


Hot Pink by Miz Pink

asian-pink-dressTisk Tisk…

Deke has really gotten away from his prurient roots hasn’t he? Deacon Blue indeed. Sure he’s got that naugty language of his still going on around here but where’s the sexual tension we used to enjoy?

Is it up to me?…I guess so.

I mean I like sex and I think I’d like to keep having it in my marriage since I figure that’s the best way to keep Sir Pink from going astray and me from turning to reality shows, the Tyra Banks Show and Lifetime TV for my satisfaction (*shiver*)

Personally I think that as much as we want to chill out when we get married we need to keep at the sex thing and the being sexy thing. Kids and work and chores and stuff make it tough I know but we’ve gotta work at it. Even if it has to be scheduled nothing brings me and my hubby closer than when we get busy. Sometimes I treat it like a chore but just like the household chores, I get into it once I start and I have immense satisfaction when I finish the job right.

The ‘getting sexy’ part isn’t so hard I think. The BEING sexy part is tougher. We all get older. We get bumps and paunches and wrinkles and all sorts of other assorted un-wanteds whether we like it or not. Short of a huge bank account and miracle working cosmetic surgeon on speed dial we’re all gonna start to slip.

But that doesn’t mean we gotta just settle. Flab? Work it off a little bit at a time. Walk, eat more salads, whatever. Even if you wear jammies to bed get some that are coordinated, without holes and look decent. Don’t need to be silky though that’s nice. Nibble on your loved ones ear for no reason. Give neck rubs. Fetch them a glass of water or whatever when they need it. Talk dirty sometimes. Send a flirty e-mail or IM (just make sure to send it to the right person). Make an effort to show you’re still attracted and be as attractive as you can and the rest will follow more easily.


Light Green with Envy

OK, since I’ve already “fessed up” about the 6th commandment, 7th commandment and 8th commandment in earlier posts the past couple weeks, why not come clean about some potential envy? OK, I know that envy is technically one of the “Seven Deadly Sins” but it plays pretty directly to the 10th commandment:

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house and you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.

By the way, if you have any confusion as to why I have the above two items as one commandment, that’s because that’s the way the Jews and most of the Protestants do it; the Catholics and Lutherans actually split this up into the 9th and 10th commandments, as they consider the “I am the Lord your God and you shall have no other gods before me, and You shall not make for yourself an idol” stuff to be one commandment instead of two. (You can find out more about that at Wikipedia, though)

But back to the coveting/envy thing.

To covet something, I think that usually you first have to envy your “neighbor” having that house, or ox or property or spouse. Or Wii console gaming system. Or new Volvo.

And I find myself wondering, am I being covetous and envious about something. I mean, I know I can be covetous and envious in general—we all do that crap—but I have a particular concern.

And by “something,” I mean something pretty broad, which is a comfortable living.

I see others around me in the same socioecomic circles who near as I can tell are doing better than Mrs. Blue and I, but I’m not sure why. Mind you, I don’t begrduge them what they have, really, in terms of income or, in many cases, family support to pay off $10,000 credit card bills and things like that.

It isn’t even that we lack support. My dad has been of immense help in lean times lately, but the help he offers only keeps us from crashing and burning. We don’t move ahead. And so many of the people I see around me are either moving ahead, albeit slowly, or they are simply staying afloat, as we are.

It’s the latter group that ticks me off, really. And here’s why: You see, many of the people I know in the latter group could be moving ahead. They don’t have to be treading water. With the help they have and their ability to earn money potentially, they could be on an upward climb toward having savings and being debt-free.

For Mrs. Blue and I, it’s a constant battle to stay ahead of the next crisis and salt something away. Often, we don’t manage to do either. We can’t get ahead right now, even with both of us working, because our respective client loads aren’t where we need them to be in our respective freelance lines of work, and we can’t get decent office-based jobs where we’re at that would provide a regular salary. So, one of our biggest challenges is that we never have our tax money put away, because there’s always some car repair or some medical visit or something else that eats away at the money.

And yet we know people who have one spouse virtually staying at home, a spouse that has the capability of doing work on a part-time or full-time basis, mind you. And they tread water therefore because they choose to. They have the capability to rise above, but don’t take it.

And so I find myself wondering: When I look at these people, am I envious that they can work less and tread water because they have help from family? Whereas I work too hard and sink.

Or am I offended? Offended because they talk about how close to the line they are and what they sacrifice to make ends meet, when they have opportunities that they are squandering that could move them ahead, while I sit here feeling guilty that I can’t do more to move my family ahead because of lack of time and resources.

And really, is being offended any better than being covetous and envious? Probably not.

Just a vent, folks, just a vent. And I know that what I really need to do more is thank God that I have been given the blessings to not drown in my stormy financial seas. But still, it’s rough. Feel free to tell me if (and where) I’m just being wrong-headed. I’m sure I need to be slapped for something based on this post…

Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley


Jeff Bouley

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August 2022

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