Posts Tagged ‘porn

30
Nov
11

Porn in Perspective

So, I know I teased you all recently (pun intended) that those among you interested in seeing my erotica-writing side might get a little peek at my skills without me giving up my super-secret, more kink-oriented venue under NAME REDACTED. I’m still going to do that, but haven’t quite worked out the best logistics under which to do that (though a story is already written).

In the meantime, do you want to know how I feel about porn?

Well, I’ve mentioned it from time to time around here at the blog (most famously here and here, and some of my views religiously/scripturally have changed since then, but my basic thrust *wink* is the same), but now I’ve also done a guest post about porn and attitudes about it (mostly my own) at Adventures in Estrogen, a blog by one of my Twitter pals Lady Estrogen.

I don’t go into any gory details or reveal any of my own kink areas in it, so it should be relatively safe even for relatives and others who know me in real life to read. Still, you may not want to know why I think there are good things about porn, and so it’s up to you whether to go read it, though I’d love for you to visit Lady Estrogen even if you don’t want to read my piece. And it is…

Porn Is Great & Porn Is Good…Sorta

14
Aug
10

Someone Else’s Wisdom

I follow Roger Ebert on Twitter (his account is ebertchicago) and he is a very prolific and often witty sort. Today, he tweeted a comment left for him (on his blog, I’m guessing), and thought I’d share it here:

Religion is to spirituality what porn is to sex.

Given my two most recent “Deacon’s Wisdom” posts in the past week, I suspect you can guess that I substantially (though not entirely) agree with that sentiment.

26
Sep
08

And Now, a Word from Sister Mary

Good day, I am Sister Mary Malcontent, a member of the Merciless Order of the Riding Crop and headmistress at the Marquis de Sade Academy of Secondary Learning. As some of you may already know, I have had a hand (wielding a hickory switch at the time, as it happens) in helping Deacon Blue to draft some of his official discussions on matters sexual (see the Porn Again Threat Assessment and Whips and Chains and Gags…Oh My).

It has come to my attention, particularly as the porn again threat assessment system (patent pending) gains broader appeal, that there may not only be types of pornography that you are concerned about but, indeed, methods of sexual intercourse itself that you may worry blur the line between acceptable and forbidden. And, while I am quite…liberal…in my views on what is acceptable, it is certainly true that there must be social and sexual order, and my sisters and I are here to enforce that. Rigidly.

The good deacon is a bit…tied up at the moment…not that I had anything to do with arranging that…and I thought I might take time during his enforced absence to apply some of the ratings of the porn threat assessment table to some areas of sex that might cause you concern with regard to just how immoral they may be. So, without further ado…what the hell?

(Sound of a chain crashing to the floor and the squeak of door hinges.)

Halt, senator! On your knees, you craven dog. Now, now, johnny-boy…We are not finished with your session. That’s right, worm, slip that cuff back on your ankle and return to kissing the toes of your running mate. Get that smug grin off your lips, sarah-girl. I’ll be signing my name in red across your ass with my malacca cane in a few minutes.

Where was I?

Oh, yes, questionable sexual acts and their level of threat to society and to your possible standing as a human being. Well, such as you are, anyway. You’ll never be as fully realized in your humanity as I am, no matter how much I purify you with hot wax and floggings. Note that I will only be covering questionable areas. Pasttimes that involve children and animals are completely outside the realm of decency, as is permanent scarring or overt assault, unless those latter two are performed against certain of my rivals, whose names I can provide to you upon request.

Biblioerotica: I am hereby coining this term, and if you should hear anyone else use it, notify me so that I may extract royalty payments in the form of cash or physical pain. While I am highly educated and know that this term should probably apply to sexually charged writings and/or sex with books, I will instead use it to refer to “naughty librarian sex.” As my research thalls have noted that sexy librarian outfits are sold out at all the costume company web sites they visited—and given that the current Republican vice presidential nominee presently nuzzling my thigh has been said to cultivate the “naughty librarian” look—I suspect that many people between now and Halloween will be getting sweaty with thoughts of musty bookshelves on their minds. I shudder to think what kinds of stains will be found in the reference sections as a result of little sarah-girl. In any case, this is an annoying but harmless area, and I can rate it no worse than threat level Goldenrod.

Puppet Sex: I was alerted to this by certain of my clientele and student bodies who have attended the Broadway show Avenue Q. Aside from this show, I am aware of no other notable puppet sex activities outside of some parody-oriented YouTube videos on sock puppet sex. While no one that I know of is seriously considering any of this as porn or as a true sexual diversion, I know how perverted the public really is and I realize that is probably only a matter of time before people are leaving bodily fluids all over puppets in  pay-per-view, webcam or specialty fetish videos. You are a sick collection out there, and you all deserve a severe beating, from someone less important than me. While this isn’t truly an area of sexual endevaor yet, I am forced to give it a rating of Scarlet for infringing too closely to childhood-related areas. If you participate in “fuzzy sex,” which really is a fetish area and involves people dressing up in cartoon-character-style or cartoonish animal costumes and going at it like, well, cartoon bunnies, I must likewise classify you as Scarlet with possible Tan tendencies. Even I have respect for the children’s cartoon and children’s television community.

Cake Farting: Ever since the Deacon mentioned this activity in a post after seeing a post about it at Ephphatha, I have, frankly, been horrified—at the inane nature of such a fetish, the waste of perfectly good desserts and the idea that anyone would be capable of achieving erection while enshrouded by a cloud of flatulence (or even imaging in in their mind). This activity does no harm to society but because I am judgmental and proud of being so, I classify all practitioners of it as threat level Red.

(Sound of breaking glass.)

Hmmmm…that sounded like it came from Deacon Blue’s cell. He must have slipped his knots. johnny-boy and the Deacon in the same day? I smell treachery on the part of one of my thralls. Oh, well, good slaves are so hard to find these days. Pardon me, as I must release the hounds and return to my regular duties.

13
Apr
08

Porn-again: the finale

To be honest, I’m only posting a “porn” related topic today because (1) In my first porn-again post this week, I had predicted that I’d probably need a couple more days to sort things out (as it happened, I only really needed two in total, and that included my semi-tongue-in-check threat assessment post yesterday) and I like to stay true to my word, (2) I found some interesting things with a quick Web search on Christian erotica, and (3) I need a quickie post (pun entirely intended) for today because I’m looking to rest up a bit and go back to that topic of speaking in tongues I started a few days ago and need to finish up.

So, there were two really interesting things I ran across in my browser search, one of them a blog and the other a Christian sex Web site. I don’t endorse or necessarily agree with either one of them (in other words, I haven’t delved into them deeply enough to have a firm opinion…oh my, the puns keep coming), but they do have a couple interesting slants.

The first is the blog A Little Leaven, which addresses some Christian sex issues but seems to be critical of some of the sex-related things popping up in the church. The post that led me to the blog talks about the use of sex topics to pull people into church and talks about how some churches even take out whole billboards.

Whew! OK, that’s a bit much even for the old Deke here. There are some things at A Little Leaven I don’t entirely agree with so far, but I admit it’s a little freaky to pull people into church with a sex angle. I mean, Christianity is about our souls…finding Jesus for our salvation and growing in faith with God through the Holy Spirit. I feel justified talking about sex and getting a little raw around my own blog, because first, I made it clear from the get-go that was some of the stuff I’d talk about and second, because I never set myself up to be the equivalent of a church. I’m here to raise some issues and clear up some things, but you probably won’t get your spiritual belly filled here much in terms of scriptural teaching.

But churches using sex to get people in the doors. Wow. I hate to sound prudish, but it sounds like a small step toward some of the old heathen temples where worshippers engaged in orgies as part of worship. I don’t think that’s what God had in mind when he let his son get nailed to a cross for us.

The other place that caught my eye was the site Sex In Christ. I’ve only just discovered this one and I think I want to steer clear of reading it much right now mostly because it looks like it may cover some issues I plan to cover soon, and I don’t want my writings unduly influenced by the opinions there. But it is clear (as I suspected) that I’m not the only person who thinks about these things and tries to “keep it real,” biblically speaking, even while addressing sexual issues. Anyway, the only thing I’ve really read there is the page on a proposal for creating Christian porn, which is a really interesting concept. I have to admit, there have been times in my life I wondered why I couldn’t find a Christian-friendly porn mag or video.

Anyway, that’s it for porn for quite some time around these parts, though I will, of course, probably bring up a sex-related topic of some sort about every week, give or take. Most of them, though, won’t take up three whole days. I don’t have that kind of stamina anymore at my age, not even for writing about sex.

Porn-again Christianity

 Porn-again threat assesment

12
Apr
08

Porn-again threat assesment

All right, as promised in yesterday’s post, here’s my color-coded threat assessment list for pornography consumption (patent pending). The U.S. Department of Homeland Security is expected to implement this assessment itself by the end of 2009. Violators of Levels 2 or Level 3 have a high probability of a visit, and severe beating, by Sister Mary Malcontent over there on the left. Unless of course you like that sort of thing, in which case the beating will come from this guy right here. (Violators of level 1 don’t want to know who, or what, might be visiting or what they might do to you.)

This post should satisfy the quota for sexual gratuity in my subject matter in this blog for the next week, give or take, thus securing the Deacon Blue moniker and reassuring people that despite my many other posts that don’t involve sex, I’m willing “to go there” for the ratings.

Porn User Threat Assessment Table

Level 1: Brown Alert

Status: You view porn that actually features foul, abusive and illegal/morally repugnant actions, such as kiddie porn, porn that include actual torture or rape, or snuff films.

Assessment: You are a steaming pile of defecation straight from the bowels of a carrion-eating animal with a terminal case of colon cancer and a parasitic infestation in its guts. You should immediately destroy all of the nasty porn you own, which is so foul that to even call it “porn” besmirches the questionable moral character of hardcore S&M porn and its ilk. After destroying this porn, you should immediately seek professional help and seek Jesus, in that order. You are a potential threat to someone helpless or innocent. If you are at threat level BROWN and actually claim to be a Christian whose salvation is assured, I would suggest you re-examine that assumption, because I think you’re dead wrong…and probably hellbound.

Level 2: Tan Alert

Status: You own porn that simulates the activities above by such means as using adult actors who look very young and portray children having sex or animated porn that glorifies rape, child sexual abuse, and the like.

Assessment: You aren’t that far off level brown, dude (or dudette). You are a shit smear on an already soiled pair of undies. To own this material is to be someone who quite likely aspires to own something in the BROWN alert level of porn. Same advice as for the BROWN level porn user. You have something off in your head and you are a potential danger if you don’t curb yourself now.

NOTE: Anyone in the BROWN or TAN alert levels who is now (or has in the past) actually engaged in something like rape, sex with a child, or the likeeither in addition to owning such porn or in lieu of itmust immediately pass “Go” and head directly to jail. Do not destroy your porn but instead box it up neatly and give it to the nice police officers as you confess to all your crimes and ask the court to take no mercy on you in terms of sentencing. Then seek Jesus. While you are in prison and when you leave prison, seek counseling to turn yourself into a human being instead of a monster.

Level 3: Scarlet Alert

Status: You own either very hardcore porn (such as extreme S&M or brown shower stuff or bestiality or something like that) or you own such an overwhelming amount of porn that you cannot interact with a member of the opposite sex in a normal human fashion and have no hope of a date, much less marriage. You also achieve this threat level if your time on the Internet is mostly spent looking for porn, such that you have turned into very nearly a full-time job.

Assessment: Please tone down the porn and get a life. A little Jesus might not hurt, either. And take a shower. You’re getting ripe with all that sweating and drooling in your dank room.

Level 4: Red Alert

Status: Your collection of movies at home is rather heavily slanted toward porn and/or your computer is filled with the stuff. Your porn isn’t necessarily extreme and you don’t spend all your time looking at it, but it’s become an addiction for you. It is causing damage to your relationship with your spouse or other sexual partner (if you have one) and/or you are allowing the porn to dictate and drive your expectations of what sex should be.

Assessment: Same as SCARLET level but you probably don’t need the shower as badly as he or she does.

Level 5: Goldenrod Alert

Status: You like porn, but you don’t let it rule your life.

Assessment: I have no problem with you. Carry on. Just make sure you put people first a good share of the time. People other than you, that is. If you only own erotic fiction and don’t actually use porn with visuals, you actually get to be Level 5.5, Chartreuse Alert.

Level 6: Cyan Alert

Status: You don’t own porn.

Assessment: More power to you. Just don’t get judgmental about those who do and aren’t hurting anyone in the process.

Level 7: Silver Alert

Status: You don’t own porn, and even when you have mental fantasies in the bedroom or for “solo acts” you only visualize your spouse.

Assessment: Are you kidding me? There are only two possibilities here. First, you are one of the most self-controlled people who has ever walked the face of the earth. (Even when I even try to visualize past events in my life with my mom or dad, both of whom were great parents, their faces always morph at some point, even if only momentarily, to some other adult figure in my life or some person I’ve never seen before.) The second possibility is that you are a damned liar and have visualized Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Katie Couric, Anderson Cooper, or some other media stud/babe on multiple occasions.

Level 8: Gold Alert

Status: You not only don’t own porn, you don’t even fantasize about your spouse, and you’ve never masturbated even a little bit.

Assessment: Are you human? Seriously. Might you be an android or something? Because if not, I don’t know what to say, except that please don’t try gunning for Jesus’ spot. It’s already taken.

11
Apr
08

Porn-again Christianity

I’ve heard people say the filthiest work in all of history is the Bible, with incest, orgies, polygamy and more abounding in its pages. Those people have obviously never seen a single episode of a soap opera, and certainly have never viewed actual porn, if they can say that. The Bible is pretty tame reading overall. Though I think Song of Solomon is sexy in a romantic way. (OK, strike that last line from the record…it may damage my already shaky standing as a manly man.)

People, I have been a naughty boy at various points in my life, and like certain famous jurists and others in recent history, I cannot give a good definition of the word pornography, but I sure know it when I see it. And I admit, I like the way a lot of it looks. I’m a man, what can I say? (And there are a fair number of women who feel the same way, admit it ladies…)

Not that I’m admitting to any regular or even recent viewing of porn. Nor am I denying it. *Ahem* Soooo, where was I?

Ah yes, porn. More importantly, porn and Christians. Most importantly (because it’s my topic today): Is it OK for Christians to view porn?

This is a big one, and I’m going to need at least the next two days, maybe three, to sort this one out completely. You may accuse me of doing so simply to stretch out a prurient topic. Accuse away. I never claimed to be a saint. Or even a very good deacon. Or a suitable altar boy for that matter.

First, let’s have the Christians among us, mostly but not exclusively the men, be honest. It’s pretty clear that the porn industry, particularly on the Internet, is now one of the big drivers of the economies of the First-World countries (the United States in particular), or at the very least one of the major areas for depositing disposable income that our struggling oil companies and pharmaceutical giants and other corporations need to keep overpaying their CEOs. So, I imagine that the levels of porn viewing among Christians are probably not that far below other people. Maybe even higher depending on how vanilla they take their real sex or how infrequently they are able to get it.

Like so much shit I talk about around here, I don’t have a firm answer on whether it’s OK for Christians to view porn. A lot of it is situational, I thinkbased on what kind of porn you’re viewing and why. In fact, tomorrow will probably bring my threat assessment list of what porn is worst and best for Christians and, by extension, everyone elsesince I’m obviously of the view that people should choose Christ.

So let’s tick off some of the points…

Porn is primarily used for masturbation, and I’ve made it clear that I think masturbation is generally an OK thing, and I stroked…I mean, stoked…the fires of that discussion with another post not long after that. So, the primary endpoint of porn, relieving sexual pressures on a solo basis, isn’t itself a bad thing.

Also, porn is often used by couples to stimulate arousal and, frankly, get some cool ideas for new things to try in their bedrooms. And as I noted here, 95% of everything goes in the bedroomof married couples at least. So, the secondary end point of porn use is good, at least in marriage, in that it can help bring a couple closer sexually and make it less likely that things get boring and someone gets tempted to look elsewhere for his or her jollies.

On the other hand, the porn industry isn’t the most savory thing in the world, both in the way a lot of its actors get used or abused, and in the fact that it basically promotes fornication. Kind of feels wrong as a Christian to give money supporting an industry like that. But then again, I buy products made in China an awful lot, and that means I’m supporting human rights abuses on a gigantic scale, albeit indirectly. So, which is worse, really?

But if you’re getting the porn for free off the Web (which I hear is pretty easy to do…I wouldn’t know personally of course. Being the straight-laced guy I am *ahem* *cough* …yeah), you haven’t done that. And if you buy amateur porn where the people weren’t victimized by an industry but rather putting themselves out there, the argument is pretty weak, though you could argue your support encourages unmarried amateurs to commit fornication and encourages married amateurs to expose themselves (though I don’t know of any specific biblical doctrine against exposing oneself to someone else through indirect media…doing it in person, of course, could promote covetousness and adultery). And if it’s something from a porn professional who is selling and marketing his or her own stuff, you also sort of lose the victimization aspect, though the other objections are similar to the amateur-hour porn ones.

There’s also the argument that viewing porn is wrong because you are objectifying a person sexually in your heart and you are essentially committing fornication and possibly adultery in your mind. Well, as for the first point, the person on screen or on the pages you are viewing isn’t there in the flesh, so um, how exactly is your objectification going to hurt their feelings? Now, if it’s a live webcam thing or a visit to a topless joint, you might have a point.

As for the mental fornication/adultery thing, I know all about the biblical passages about how sinning in your mind is virtually the same as sinning in reality. But I don’t know anyone who can control his or her mind that well so as to avoid sinful thoughts. I mean, how often does a thought pass through that (1) I should take that item without paying, (2) I’d sure like to tap that ass, (3) maybe I should lie about being sick to get a day off work, (4) I’d love to beat my motherfreaking boss to a pulp, and (5) insert a hundred other random thoughts here. And those are just the thoughts that hit you before you brush your teeth in the morning.

So, my point is that when Jesus told us, for example, that lust in the heart (that is, your thoughts) is as bad as actually committing adultery or fornication, I’m sure he wanted to caution us to guard our thoughts. But I think the overarching concern was that we not harbor such thought about people with whom we interact or might have a real chance of meeting one day.

I’m not saying that porn is inherently good or that Christians should be seeking it out in massive quantities. But on the other hand, I mean, if you’ve already paid for it, what’s the point of burning it or throwing it out? The deed is done, and unless the act of using the porn is causing you to sin (such as in giving less energy to your spouse, a topic touched on at a blog on Christian Sex and Marriage…I don’t know that I agree with that post, though it is interesting), then I don’t see the problem, personally. And as for erotic fiction, I really don’t get how that can be bad unless you’re an easily-led drone who is going to try something illegal or immoral described in a book just because it sounded cool on the page. I mean, these are fictional characters. It’s a pretty damned big stretch that I’m committing mental adultery or fornication with someone who doesn’t exist.

And if you, as a married Christian couple, want to bring some porn into the bedroom…well, subject to some of the cautionary points I’ve already noted, go for it. At the Christian Sex and Marriage blog I noted above, there was another post on porn that suggested porn “kills real sex” but I really disagree with that one. Some people do get big expectations upon viewing porn, but for most, I think it is more of a stimulator and inspirational thing than it is a destroyer of good sex in the real world. I mean, if one has a kink, for example, and that kink is something that the other partner is uninterested in doing for real (or if it’s impractical, such as filling a hot tub with cold pasta, rubber duckies and bubble wrap), porn may be the only way for either or both of you to enjoy any taste of that kink.

Bottom line, if I were the owner of some porn on my computer or in a locked box somewhere in my home (and I’m not saying I am…just hypothetically. You know, I have a friend who does), I’m not just tossing it out on a whim. On the other hand, I think it would do some good for all peopleChristian or otherwiseto evalaute what they have porn-wise and really, honestly determine if it serves a purpose or if it’s perhaps harmful. Does it encourage you to bad thoughts or tendencies? Is it illegal or immoral (e.g. kiddie porn)? Is it distracting you from real relationships and interactions with someone you love? Is it an old film on a VHS tape and you just don’t want to shell out money to replace your broken VCR?

So, next up, my list of the worst and most harmless kinds of porn, from my personal semi-informed biblical and intellectual positions (not to be confused with any positions described in the Kama Sutra). I’ll even give you a cool color-coded threat-level system inspired by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. Until, then don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Or don’t do anything I would. Or anything I might be thinking about right now…

…Um, bye.




Deacon Blue is the blogging persona of editor and writer Jeffrey Bouley. The opinions of Jeff himself on this blog, and those expressed as Deacon Blue, in NO WAY should be construed as the opinions of anyone with whom he has worked, currently works, or will work with in the future. They are personal opinions and views, and are sometimes, frankly, expressed in more outrageous terms than I truly feel most days.

Jeff Bouley

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To find out more about me professionally, click here. To find out more about me generally, click here.

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